chemo sucks

chemo sucks.
i'm on my last day of it for this round. I've got a pass to leave the hospital for a few hours so I'm at the Hope Lodge. My head is pretty cloudy right now so who knows if all this will make sense later when I re-read my entry.

The Fourth of July weekend went well. I went to Manitowish Waters and spent the weekend with Matt and his family on their island. I was kind of nervous to be around them again at first. I know they hadn't seen me since my hair fell out and wasn't sure how they'd react to how different I look. It was nice though, I don't think they made anything feel different. It was like I was just plain old Karen again. Matt wanted to do a lot of things while we were on the Island. I can't blame him for being excited to do things that he normally wouldn't do : sailing, canoeing, etc. The problem is, I'm too weak to do all those in one day plus a four hour car ride. I was exhausted and had to slow him down a little. So we spent the night playing cards and relaxing. The next day, Matt's family and I went on a canoe ride. There's a creek that runs off the lake we were staying at and we went upstream. There was a wild rice field and a few beaver dams, but I had two strong boys paddling for me, so it was a piece of cake. I just love nature. Canoeing, everything. That afternoon Matt and I went swimming and laid out on the dock. He also took me sailing. It was pretty windy so it was hard to sail. I was also afraid of tipping the boat over on my arm. If I busy my arm again, its history. And my cast isn't waterproof so I couldn't wear it for sailing. But we managed. It was fun even though I was kind of afraid. Saturday night, we went to a water ski show. I'd never been to one and thought it'd be fun so we went. It was pretty cool. The skiers made it seem so easy. I was impressed. Sunday was pretty windy and chilly, so we spent a lot of it just hanging out inside napping. I had a good time at the Island. On Monday, I left. Matt met Mom and Emily at Monico and we went to grandma's from there. By that time I was feeling like my old self (energy level wise) and enjoyed being there. Paul, Jenny, and Mason came over and we had a cookout. Carol, Eileen, Renae, and Charlie also came. It was nice to see them again. Today is Eileen's graduation party. I wish I could've gone, but its too far to go when I have only a couple hours for a pass and it takes a couple hours to drive. Maybe we'll visit Grandma's this next week if I feel well enough.

Em and Mom kept me pretty active this week through chemo. Usually I just sit there and do nothing. But Mom played piano with me, Emily played cards and watched movies. I enjoy having them around more than having Dad. He always takes off and just leaves me at the hospital when I want company. It is lonely there all by myself.