Another Saturday Night Alone

I hate being alone at night. Its all so quiet and lonely having not even the sound of the TV to keep me company. I spent the entire day hanging out with Emily. I drove her back to Escanaba and then we went shopping at the various thrift stores in Escabanana (yes I know its not really banana). I love thrift stores but for some reason I was in a shop shop shop mood but not in a buy anything mood. Maybe it was because I knew I had very little money in my pocket and no possiblity of regaining employment any time soon. It was nice to hang out with her all day, I hadn't seen her at all since she went back to school in January and I missed my little sis. :) I picked Dad up at the casino and had a rootbeer (my first in a long time). I can't wait until the time I can walk into the casino and not have to stop for them to write down all my information and give me an oh so cool wrist band because I'm under 21. Speaking of turning 21, I know its a long ways off right now, but I fully intend on getting good and sloshed for my 21st. Now its 11:30 and I can feel myself heading into my normal insomniac night.

I lay in bed trying to sleep night after night and never can manage to do it. I want to go to church with the family tommorrow morning at 8 but I know I'm not going to be able to make myself do it. What I really want is Matt to be here right now. I miss him a lot...(I know this next part is going to sound dirty, but I'm not intending it to) I miss him the most at night. I wish I had someone to cuddle up with and fall asleep next to. To feel safe in his arms.

What I need is a rootbeer. Drown my sorrows in a rootbeer (schnaaps free unfortunately-- my blood counts are low this weekend so that means no alcohol for Karen). *Sits at the imaginary bar* Pass me a cold one.....