I'm afraid. Not as afraid as before but still quite afraid of how things will go. Its been nice having so much support on things but nothing anyone can say will prepare me for the actual treatment, except maybe Val. I talked to her tonight and it made things a little better. She told me more what to expect about how things feel. I've decided to go ahead and get the port done tommorrow under local anesthetic (not my original plan, but someone scheduling things screwed up). I just pray I don't wake up during it all or if I do, they numbed things well enough where it won't hurt. Please pray!