bye bye other life

Now its time to say goodbye to perhaps the most wonderful part of my life: CMU. Its just not feasable for me to stay here and be treated in Marshfield (a distance of 10 hours each way in a car when traffic and the roads are perfect). I sure am going to miss this place. I'll miss my apartment, my friends and even some of my professors. Smelly old Concord. Its crazy I'll miss this place. I've lived in the same apartment my entire time here, at Central. So a lot of the good times (and the bad) happened here. When I return in the fall or spring next school year, it will all be gone. I guess I'm so emotional about all this because I'm not going to get to say goodbye to my friends and my roommates. I'm leaving here on Saturday and I'll be long gone by the time they get here. Some of my friends are graduating in May as well. I may never see them again. I want to say a proper goodbye to my life here before I leave tommorrow, but as it looks, I will only get the opportunity to say goodbye to one of them. Then there's Matt. It will be my last night with him tonight. Last night I hung out with him and all I could do was cry. I'll probably do more of that tonight. It seems like all I do now is cry. With Matt, I'm terrified that I'll lose him. That one day he'll decide he can't take all of this and let me go. That would completely destroy me. Right now I need my friends and family more than ever. Part of me wants to kidnap him and take him here, that's the selfish part of me. I can't imagine what this must be like for him. Having someone he cares about to be so upset all the time, and not being able to do a thing about it. What makes me feel a tiny bit better is that he said he'd shave his head when all my hair fell out, just so I wouldn't be alone for that part. I told him thats really the only part of my girliness that I like. I guess that's all he can do really other then be there for me if I need to talk. Thats what we did last night, talk. I'll also miss my professors. Every Monday, my French professors and some students meet to talk in French. I went almost every week (maybe thats why M. Labrie is being so nice and offering to help me out with correspondence courses) and got to know them more on a personal level rather than just in class. So goodbye CMU, I hope to see you soon.